New Page

I wrote a new page for my blog. It is a question and answer session. Of course, they are my questions and my answers. Hopefully they will be questions that others were wanting to ask anyway. So look up and click.

Pinterest

Amazing. Two blogs in one evening. But I had to tell you I joined the Pinterest revolution. I am hooked. I must force myself to not log on or I will be there for hours. But they are such good and informational things I need to know. Really.

A Good One of Those Days

It is amazing how sometimes depression can set in and stay with you. And then as fast as it set in, it disappears. I would hate for it to linger for days and days with no relief. I feel sorry for those who have been clinically diagnosed with it. For me, when it does hit, it usually chooses to visit fleetingly and for only a day or two. I'm not sure what brings it on. Something on the bad side happening, a rainy day or many, or a "chemical imbalance". Who knows. I just know I hate it and I rejoice when it goes away. My brain needs a welcome mat that says, "Go Away." There is usually a lot of prayers to God to just be there while I pout. But things are good now. While the stresses of life will always be here, they are ever changing. Plus, there is always tomorrow. Well, a few days ago it became tomorrow and everything, while not perfect, is fine within my soul.

I spent the afternoon and evening working on my blog. While I did love the look that I had, I felt the dark color was depressing. So I picked something I believed to be a little more uplifting. I hope you agree. I still may try and tweak it a little more, or I may change it all together. I just hope visitors will approve.

Yesterday I got the idea for a new book. I wrote almost one thousand words. Pretty impressive for a day's work. My youngest daughter, she is eight, even contributed with coming up with character names. She is pretty good. I've already decided to use some of them. But this is not good for the second book of Chasing Dragons. I should really concentrate on it first. But what do you do when new characters pound at your door. You write so they will be quiet.

So know when you have a bad day, there is tomorrow. There is always tomorrow and there are always your friends to listen to you, and there is always God to help you through. You may not always believe He is there, but I think if you do and give him a prayer, you will find you don't feel so alone during these times.

My book is doing only so, so. I also spent some time trying to figure out how to get people to notice it more. Still not sure how to do that. I am ready to get out of the KDP select so I can rejoin B&N. Who knows, I may go back and retry the KDP select later.

Just One of Those Days

I'm feeling lazy. Not really lazy, but sort of depressed. During most of the day, I could feel it slowly seep over me, sort of like that of quicksand you see on television. Not really sure how slow quicksand takes to suck you in. But that is how I have felt today. My eldest daughter asked me earlier what was wrong. I replied "I'm just tired." And I am.

Here is my list:
* waking at 4am, bed between 9 and 10pm, six days a week to go to work
* fixing dinner every night, lunch on weekends, lunch for school. Can nobody tell me what they want
   instead of me having to come up with another idea to eat? And don't get me started on the "I don't like
   that." Fine, fix yourself some Ramon Noodles then. That wasn't hateful, was it?
* raising my voice to kids who are too loud and won't listen. I get tired of saying, "Not so loud, your dad is
   asleep."
* trying to find an agent
* being rejected by above agent
* training for my new job that is mine when I'm trained
* worrying:
       money
       not spending quality time with family
       other stuff
* not getting my house in tip top shape because I'm too busy writing or searching for an agent, or other stuff
* my job. Fact is, my hours were reduced from a 36 hour work week to a 30 hour work week so they could bring in someone cheaper to do the extra. Legal?
        My union made it possible without explaining the consequences in our contract. I sometimes wonder if
        somebody got a big payout.
* not being a good friend. I would make a great hermit. This is not very nice for friends who love
   and have only the best wishes for me. Or the ones who may need me.

 There are so many things to be tired about. The one that tops my list though, is that I am not being the good Christian I am supposed to be. With all these tired complaints, it leaves a huge gap for ill feelings to wander into my attitude. And when that happens, how in the world are people expected to see that my love for God is so great.
 I knew I needed him today. I spent a lot of time on the computer searching Christian videos. I found one I really like. You can see it on my last page of this blog. Just scroll up and it can't be missed.

 There is never a night that I don't go to bed without praying to Him. There have been many nights, I am so tired, that by the time I go to my bed, I fall asleep before my prayer is done. I believe He understands. At least I hope so. I often ask He remembers that I am human. And as human, as much as I try, I am not perfect, though I wish I was. It would save me from the grief of knowing I let Him down. I am glad He gave us a way to fix that. A simple I am sorry and forgive me. Sometimes it seems too simple. How can He forgive me?
 I tend to dredge up old sins. I try and reason out why a certain path was taken when I know it was wrong. There are good things that came out of that path. But I look around and wonder, what if I had been a good girl. Some would say this is the devil trying to pull me down. Seriously, like I need help. I hate to give him so much credit.
 You can tell by my rambling that my depressed state has settled over me. I hope you all recognize a little of me in you. Not that I want you to be miserable with me, but to know that we are all alike in some way. So when you look at the person next to you, realize there are days we all reach the bottom and think we can't do it anymore. Somehow we do though. It is amazing that we dig deep into ourselves and force that last bit of effort into action. It must be a self save mechanism God planted in us. How else could we do it.

 Thanks for "listening".  Tomorrow will be better.