Fallen Star by Jessica Sorensen

I don't normally do book reviews, but this particular book has bothered me, I will explain at the end. Being an indie author myself, I understand the dedication and hard work it takes to put our work out there by ourselves.

The Fallen Star

Here is the premise:


For eighteen year-old Gemma, life has never been normal. Up until recently, she has been incapable of feeling emotion. And when she’s around Alex, the gorgeous new guy at school, she can feel electricity that makes her skin buzz. Not to mention the monsters that haunt her nightmares have crossed over into real-life. 

But with Alex seeming to hate her and secrets popping up everywhere, Gemma’s life is turning into a chaotic mess. Things that shouldn’t be real suddenly seem to exist. And as her world falls apart, figuring out the secrets of her past becomes a matter of life and death. 


First, you must understand, I love to read. But with the constraints between my own writing, work, family and life in general, my reading has fallen behind. I was trying to promote my book on Amazon for free for a few days and spotted this and thought since I had just finished writing a chapter, I would take a needed break.



So here goes with my first critique on a book:


I enjoyed The Fallen Star very well, enough that I didn't put it down until I was finished. It was a light read for me, so it only took me a few hours last night. I cuddled on my couch with my blanket and read it via my ipod, such a lovely gadget. There were a few grammatical errors, but not enough to warrant a tirade, also another thing I understand as a fellow indie author. Sometimes our eyes don't catch everything. Most will say to hire an editor, and to that I say we can't all afford it. Like I said, the errors were only a few that I spotted. Ms. Sorensen also kept the spark between Alex and Gemma. In away, it was if you were the one tingling with the heat between them. As for the plot, I often kept thinking, "Surely, this girl isn't that dense." Of course, the author could have meant for her to be. Gemma had just "woke up" out of a life where she never felt emotion. And eventually, she did get it. But for me to keep thinking that, sort of pulled me out of the book a little.


Okay, so here is what I didn't like. The end left me feeling let down or maybe betrayed is the better word. Why? It's the end of the book. The sexual tension is still there, it is never fully accepted between the characters and someone doesn't have the gumption to stand up for Gemma. He lets Gemma down, and yes, after you read it, you might ask... what else could he have done? But that leads to the way it was ended. A cliff hanger. Like watching an end of the television series to keep you waiting for the next season. Yes, it may cause me to buy her next book eventually when I have time. Just because I want to know what happens next. But I like books that end the story in one book. So what if it is a series. A little suspense can be left without you going, what? Take Harry Potter or Twilight for example. They are series plots but each book ends neatly, even while knowing another is out there to read. My own is a series, but I have ended the story within the book with the next one a whole new story. At least I hope others think so after this little rant. 


So there you have it. If you don't mind the cliff hanger, then I do suggest The Fallen Star. If I had to give it a "star", then 4 stars. Only because I don't like to be left saying "what?".

Editing

I thought I would read through my Chasing Dragons: Vengeance and see if I found anything that needed corrected. Sometimes when you haven't looked at your work in awhile, and you step back in to take a peek, you see things that are not supposed to be there. So I decided I might do this, and if I did find any errors, they were an easy fix and an easy upload to Amazon and B&N. I was very surprised at what I found.

Firstly, there were little things. I didn't think it would be too much. A comma here or there, maybe a word misspelled. I am using microsoft word now instead of works. Yes, it makes a huge difference. But I used that last. I read the hard copy first, and with my pen, I marked areas I wanted to look at or fix. And then a funny thing struck me. Really, I was horrified. I realized, the painting in chapter one of the dragon Kwon, was described wrong. I described him as a fire dragon. If you have read the book and have even remotely any memory for short details, you may have caught it. The fire dragons are from the region Gracon, whereas the water dragons are from Fuaun, which is where the story begins with Deagon. Thank goodness for technology. I was able to fix the discrepancy, but I am sorry for those who bought my book before, having read the wrong info.

Also, one day at Wednesday night church, my pastor mentioned his professor, back when he was in college, did not allow the word 'that' to be used in any papers to be turned  in to him. This made me think. I googled overused words in fiction writing and found there were several. I wrote them down and went to my files and did a search. That, now, just, are to name a few. Seeing how these three were the worst, I focused my attention on them. I was able to rid most of them, even if I had to do a little rewrite. The rewrites even made the book better, I think. Other times, I didn't believe I could remove the words because I couldn't think of another way to write it.

So everything is good for the moment, and have been reloaded. I believe it is a better book for it. Someday I will be able to afford a real editor or may even have the luck of having an agent who can get me one. For now, or moment, I must rely on myself and friends, and word.

I hope Vengeance will not need future edits, unless an editor has it in their hands and is the one offering his thoughts. Thank you to my family who put up with my hours and hours of time I spent on the edits and not them. I did not abandon you.

Thank You

Thank you to all of you who have read Chasing Dragons: Vengeance. To those of you who have let me know how much you like it, I am very much appreciative that you took the time to let me know. You are a continual source of inspiration to keep me working on the next. Again, thank you soooo much.

Change

I like change in some things. Room arrangements. Colors for clothes or paint. The arrangement in my garden each year. Change is good for some things. So you may or may not have noticed that I have changed my blog design a couple of times in the past month. While I liked the other green design, I really like this one. If you have read my questions page, you will remember that green is my favorite color. But I also like blues. Like the one for this page. It reminds me a little of the blue of some of the ocean getaway pictures. Take Sandles or the Bahamas for instance. Cool and relaxing. So while you read, I hope it is a welcoming color for you. May you feel warm, relaxed, and cool all in one sitting. Thank you for reading.

Homemade Pancakes and Syrup

Okay, so this has nothing to do with my book. But ever since I've been on Pinterest, I am addicted and now I am wanting to share some of the things I do or may know, which may not be much. Ha. The first thing I am going to share is my pancakes and syrup. I even uploaded a picture. Aren't I so good? :)

     My youngest daughter, Emily, has some food allergies and we were trying to stay away from high fructose corn syrup. Even after realizing the corn syrup was not one of her triggers, this syrup is Emily's favorite.

     Both recipes come from two ladies of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church of Mansfield, MO where my father-in-law is the preacher. Thank you Kathy Barnett and Marge Short.


     The syrup may be made while the pancakes are cooking.

 PANCAKES

1 egg
1 cup milk (I use whole)
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

I usually make two batches for my family of 6. Also, sometimes I add a little more flour for thicker pancakes.  You know how it goes, it all depends on our mood.


HOMEMADE PANCAKE SYRUP

1 1/2  cups brown sugar
3/4 cup water
1 tablespoon butter
dash of salt
1/2 teaspoon maple flavoring (make sure to add after boiling above ingedients)

Mix all ingredients in small sauce pan. Heat over medium heat until boiling, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat. Stir in maple flavoring. Serve warm.

note: I don't always use butter and I don't think I even add the salt. I then pour the syrup in a pretty mason jar and use a spoon to poor over the pancakes. Refrigerate unused syrup. Warm up when used next. Very yummy. I haven't used store bought since.

An update for the week

My daughter, Emily, is in a cleaning/rearranging mood. She has been busy in her room and proudly lets me know her every step as she slowly gets it the way she wants. Too bad she has to share it with her stinky twelve year old brother, who is not his usual loud mouth today. Logan has been on the couch sleeping. A cold has been trying to take over his body the past two days; today it won. A fever and cough wiped him out and the couch is currently his best friend. Poor little guy.

For me, I think my brain is tired. Too much learning new stuff at my new job in the Post Office. (Not a new job, but a different position at a new station in the same city within the P.O.) I went from a job that I was very capable and knowledgeable of, to a new job that I'm not sure if I can get down. My question to every package brought in to the store: Is that liquid, fragile, perishable, or potentially hazardous? May not sound to bad, but try to say it fast enough and remember to ask every time really is a challenge. Not to mention which rate and box and price and extra items like delivery confirmation or stamps a customer may like and what button to push, yes, my brain is dead after a days work. It may not sound hard. It may even sound easier than my other job, and in some ways it very much is, but it is still a brain procession and I am near brain dead as I write this. I called my friend from my other station and asked if I could come home. She said the door was always open. I'm thankful to have a friend that can laugh with me when I need it. We all need those friends.

Changed my book price again. Yes, I probably am doing that too much. It wasn't selling, so I decided to try the higher price and see if my son, Liam, was right. $4.99. We shall see. I have managed to get it up on B&N again and am working to get it to ibooks and google books.

That is all for an update I have at the moment. I am going to try and work on the book. I hope my brain will function. It is almost 8 p.m., I better eat first I suppose.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

If Amanda Hocking Can Do It

I started a new week of training for my new bid job in the great postal service. One week of book work in forty hours. The first day is so far, not so bad. After fourteen years working five a.m. to eleven a.m., six days a week, this eight to five is a little different. I've been spoiled, being home when my kids walk through the door after school, or running errands and picking them up for after school meetings. But it is only for two weeks. My last week will be on the job window training. When I am done training, my job will be eight a.m. to two p.m., five days a week. Just in time to be home for the kids or to gather them from their after school meetings. All will be good again. I have to say though, I enjoyed "sleeping in" til six a.m. It felt nice.

My days of writing in a quiet house are over. I will have to write after the kids are home, maybe later in the evenings. It will be interesting to see how productive I can be. I have been a little frustrated with sales on my first novel, Chasing Dragons: Vengeance. I have gotten a few good reviews, but still it hasn't sold very well. I try and figure what is selling the other books out on the market, but they keep their secrets.

I have completed re-edits awhile back and believe everything looks good. My cover by Jerry Kissell, I believe, is rather awesome. Friends and complete strangers have told me they love my book, but still, I am left feeling confused at how to get it out there. To tell the truth, as much as my ideas flow and swirl around inside my head, writing is hard, but promoting and getting people to read it is a lot harder. Someday I will be able to help others who are in the same situation. For now, I am constantly looking for new paths to take. I will not give up. I have found I love writing. And, I guess, even if no one does read my stories or like them, I do and I will keep plugging away until every last character is out of my head and on the screen. Two books are swirling in my head at the moment. It is interesting how I am able to keep them separated from each other. Their magic is slowly spreading from my fingers onto the screen.

I lowered my book price from $2.99 to $.99. I am testing the waters to see if this will help. My son, Liam, thinks I should raise the price. He thinks maybe readers think lower prices equate to an inferior book. If this price fails, I will raise the price a little higher and see if he is right.

If you are an author, as well as I, maybe the articles I write of my experience will give you some insight or help in your adventure. There are no instant answers. Why one sells and another doesn't, I haven't a clue.
Maybe it is the genre or the type of characters, or maybe it is the description or lack of. What ever it is, without the expertise of a publicist, I am on my own, picking my way through the crowding ocean.

In the mean time, we must each have faith in our abilities and believe that if Amanda Hocking can do it, so can we. I wonder if she ever believed she could be an inspiration to others? I hope someday I can be.

New Page

I wrote a new page for my blog. It is a question and answer session. Of course, they are my questions and my answers. Hopefully they will be questions that others were wanting to ask anyway. So look up and click.

Pinterest

Amazing. Two blogs in one evening. But I had to tell you I joined the Pinterest revolution. I am hooked. I must force myself to not log on or I will be there for hours. But they are such good and informational things I need to know. Really.

A Good One of Those Days

It is amazing how sometimes depression can set in and stay with you. And then as fast as it set in, it disappears. I would hate for it to linger for days and days with no relief. I feel sorry for those who have been clinically diagnosed with it. For me, when it does hit, it usually chooses to visit fleetingly and for only a day or two. I'm not sure what brings it on. Something on the bad side happening, a rainy day or many, or a "chemical imbalance". Who knows. I just know I hate it and I rejoice when it goes away. My brain needs a welcome mat that says, "Go Away." There is usually a lot of prayers to God to just be there while I pout. But things are good now. While the stresses of life will always be here, they are ever changing. Plus, there is always tomorrow. Well, a few days ago it became tomorrow and everything, while not perfect, is fine within my soul.

I spent the afternoon and evening working on my blog. While I did love the look that I had, I felt the dark color was depressing. So I picked something I believed to be a little more uplifting. I hope you agree. I still may try and tweak it a little more, or I may change it all together. I just hope visitors will approve.

Yesterday I got the idea for a new book. I wrote almost one thousand words. Pretty impressive for a day's work. My youngest daughter, she is eight, even contributed with coming up with character names. She is pretty good. I've already decided to use some of them. But this is not good for the second book of Chasing Dragons. I should really concentrate on it first. But what do you do when new characters pound at your door. You write so they will be quiet.

So know when you have a bad day, there is tomorrow. There is always tomorrow and there are always your friends to listen to you, and there is always God to help you through. You may not always believe He is there, but I think if you do and give him a prayer, you will find you don't feel so alone during these times.

My book is doing only so, so. I also spent some time trying to figure out how to get people to notice it more. Still not sure how to do that. I am ready to get out of the KDP select so I can rejoin B&N. Who knows, I may go back and retry the KDP select later.

Just One of Those Days

I'm feeling lazy. Not really lazy, but sort of depressed. During most of the day, I could feel it slowly seep over me, sort of like that of quicksand you see on television. Not really sure how slow quicksand takes to suck you in. But that is how I have felt today. My eldest daughter asked me earlier what was wrong. I replied "I'm just tired." And I am.

Here is my list:
* waking at 4am, bed between 9 and 10pm, six days a week to go to work
* fixing dinner every night, lunch on weekends, lunch for school. Can nobody tell me what they want
   instead of me having to come up with another idea to eat? And don't get me started on the "I don't like
   that." Fine, fix yourself some Ramon Noodles then. That wasn't hateful, was it?
* raising my voice to kids who are too loud and won't listen. I get tired of saying, "Not so loud, your dad is
   asleep."
* trying to find an agent
* being rejected by above agent
* training for my new job that is mine when I'm trained
* worrying:
       money
       not spending quality time with family
       other stuff
* not getting my house in tip top shape because I'm too busy writing or searching for an agent, or other stuff
* my job. Fact is, my hours were reduced from a 36 hour work week to a 30 hour work week so they could bring in someone cheaper to do the extra. Legal?
        My union made it possible without explaining the consequences in our contract. I sometimes wonder if
        somebody got a big payout.
* not being a good friend. I would make a great hermit. This is not very nice for friends who love
   and have only the best wishes for me. Or the ones who may need me.

 There are so many things to be tired about. The one that tops my list though, is that I am not being the good Christian I am supposed to be. With all these tired complaints, it leaves a huge gap for ill feelings to wander into my attitude. And when that happens, how in the world are people expected to see that my love for God is so great.
 I knew I needed him today. I spent a lot of time on the computer searching Christian videos. I found one I really like. You can see it on my last page of this blog. Just scroll up and it can't be missed.

 There is never a night that I don't go to bed without praying to Him. There have been many nights, I am so tired, that by the time I go to my bed, I fall asleep before my prayer is done. I believe He understands. At least I hope so. I often ask He remembers that I am human. And as human, as much as I try, I am not perfect, though I wish I was. It would save me from the grief of knowing I let Him down. I am glad He gave us a way to fix that. A simple I am sorry and forgive me. Sometimes it seems too simple. How can He forgive me?
 I tend to dredge up old sins. I try and reason out why a certain path was taken when I know it was wrong. There are good things that came out of that path. But I look around and wonder, what if I had been a good girl. Some would say this is the devil trying to pull me down. Seriously, like I need help. I hate to give him so much credit.
 You can tell by my rambling that my depressed state has settled over me. I hope you all recognize a little of me in you. Not that I want you to be miserable with me, but to know that we are all alike in some way. So when you look at the person next to you, realize there are days we all reach the bottom and think we can't do it anymore. Somehow we do though. It is amazing that we dig deep into ourselves and force that last bit of effort into action. It must be a self save mechanism God planted in us. How else could we do it.

 Thanks for "listening".  Tomorrow will be better.

KDP Select Update

Thanks to all who participated in the fee promotion on Wed. 2/15/12. I have gone into more detail on my news page at my official website. I have finished chapter seven. Cough, last week. Have been on vacation from my post office job and thought I would have more time to work on the book. Not necessarily. I spent one day looking for an agent again. So far, not promising. But that is okay. Even though that is the only way to get my book in the brick and mortar stores, I may have to rely on Amazon and B&N. Of course, B&N will have to wait til my KDP Select time is up. But until then, this endeavor has actually been a good thing. The rest of my vacation has been spent with kids and cleaning out my coupons. Wow, have I got behind. There is a reason to stay on top of things. There is nothing else to really write home about; my vacation has been rather quiet, which that is a nice thing. It is good to slow down and relax, letting the world slip by with not a worry on your mind. You should try it.

Blank Page

I sit here at my computer, staring obsessively, wanting to see words fill on the blank page. But it doesn't happen. How easy writing comes to some. There are days it does for me, and then there are the days I may write a few words, a chapter or only one page. Images fill my mind, conversations take place. And yet somehow these moments don't make it past my fingertips. Very frustrating. But have no fear. The story will find its way out. Still working on chapter five.

Why can the people not believe?

I read in the newspaper this morning that the number of people who don't believe in God or religion is growing. Not that they are atheist but that they just don't care. I'm saddened by this. I'm not sure if it is because they don't believe or the fact that they don't care and don't worry about it. To them, things are just as they are and God has no purpose for them. How sad. Does an unbeliever not look around them in wonder? Or cast an eye to the sky in awe? Shiver at the power behind a drop of water? How can a person look at each individual, whether it be human, animal, or nature and not see how different and complex we all are and that chance does not create this. To think that it is only by chance that the earth and each planet, spins in their own spot, never wavering from where they are suppose to be and that the sun does not extinguish and send us and our entire solar system into a dark, cold existence, is a belief I do not want to hold dear into my heart. God is in control. Why is it so hard for others to not let go and hand the reins of their life over to him? Will they faint on the spot that there is one greater than we can ever truly fathom? I tell you this. They will one day. It is said every knee will bow. Believing in God will not change who they are inside. That person will still be that person. We still live and we will still die. I have seen others change for much worse ideals or actions. It may change, to some point, what they do in life or how they react. But they will still be who they are. Would that be so bad? How wonderful to have someone more powerful than us help us through our day. How more wonderful to know that, in the end, we will see him. I would rather God was with me than against me. So if the percentage of the unbelievers are gaining, reducing the numbers of us praising God, at least, the tiniest pebble will.

Luke 19:

³⁷ Then, as He was now drawing near the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works they had seen, ³⁸saying: 


      “‘Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the LORD!’^[d]
      Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” 

³⁹ And some of the Pharisees called to Him from the crowd, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.” 
⁴⁰ But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.”

All new: barbaragarquharsonscott.com

I have a new website to go along with my blog. Check it out and let me know what your think. Click on this link: barbarafarquharsonscott.com There is also a page with free dragon games. Emily loves that page. She is always asking to get on my new site to play. Makes me glad I added that page.

KDP Select

Just joined KDP Select program on Amazon. So for the next 90 days, you will be unable to buy the ebook for your nook from B&N since the KDP Select program does not allow other outlets to sell the ebook. Sorry for those with nooks, but Chasing Dragons has not sold well there. This is a platform that I am hoping will jump start Chasing Dragons and get it known to more people. There are so many books it is easy to get lost in the sea. This is a 90 day experiment with the option to renew. Amazon will allow me the option to offer my book for free to readers for up to 5 days every 90 days. Hopefully all this to people who may normally not have heard about it. I will keep you posted with my experiment. If all goes well, I will open the B&N back up and then maybe later in the year rejoin KDP Select. Who knows, I may stay in. Then again, I may not need to. I am to use the word once more; Hopeful!!!