Fallen Star by Jessica Sorensen

I don't normally do book reviews, but this particular book has bothered me, I will explain at the end. Being an indie author myself, I understand the dedication and hard work it takes to put our work out there by ourselves.

The Fallen Star

Here is the premise:


For eighteen year-old Gemma, life has never been normal. Up until recently, she has been incapable of feeling emotion. And when she’s around Alex, the gorgeous new guy at school, she can feel electricity that makes her skin buzz. Not to mention the monsters that haunt her nightmares have crossed over into real-life. 

But with Alex seeming to hate her and secrets popping up everywhere, Gemma’s life is turning into a chaotic mess. Things that shouldn’t be real suddenly seem to exist. And as her world falls apart, figuring out the secrets of her past becomes a matter of life and death. 


First, you must understand, I love to read. But with the constraints between my own writing, work, family and life in general, my reading has fallen behind. I was trying to promote my book on Amazon for free for a few days and spotted this and thought since I had just finished writing a chapter, I would take a needed break.



So here goes with my first critique on a book:


I enjoyed The Fallen Star very well, enough that I didn't put it down until I was finished. It was a light read for me, so it only took me a few hours last night. I cuddled on my couch with my blanket and read it via my ipod, such a lovely gadget. There were a few grammatical errors, but not enough to warrant a tirade, also another thing I understand as a fellow indie author. Sometimes our eyes don't catch everything. Most will say to hire an editor, and to that I say we can't all afford it. Like I said, the errors were only a few that I spotted. Ms. Sorensen also kept the spark between Alex and Gemma. In away, it was if you were the one tingling with the heat between them. As for the plot, I often kept thinking, "Surely, this girl isn't that dense." Of course, the author could have meant for her to be. Gemma had just "woke up" out of a life where she never felt emotion. And eventually, she did get it. But for me to keep thinking that, sort of pulled me out of the book a little.


Okay, so here is what I didn't like. The end left me feeling let down or maybe betrayed is the better word. Why? It's the end of the book. The sexual tension is still there, it is never fully accepted between the characters and someone doesn't have the gumption to stand up for Gemma. He lets Gemma down, and yes, after you read it, you might ask... what else could he have done? But that leads to the way it was ended. A cliff hanger. Like watching an end of the television series to keep you waiting for the next season. Yes, it may cause me to buy her next book eventually when I have time. Just because I want to know what happens next. But I like books that end the story in one book. So what if it is a series. A little suspense can be left without you going, what? Take Harry Potter or Twilight for example. They are series plots but each book ends neatly, even while knowing another is out there to read. My own is a series, but I have ended the story within the book with the next one a whole new story. At least I hope others think so after this little rant. 


So there you have it. If you don't mind the cliff hanger, then I do suggest The Fallen Star. If I had to give it a "star", then 4 stars. Only because I don't like to be left saying "what?".

Editing

I thought I would read through my Chasing Dragons: Vengeance and see if I found anything that needed corrected. Sometimes when you haven't looked at your work in awhile, and you step back in to take a peek, you see things that are not supposed to be there. So I decided I might do this, and if I did find any errors, they were an easy fix and an easy upload to Amazon and B&N. I was very surprised at what I found.

Firstly, there were little things. I didn't think it would be too much. A comma here or there, maybe a word misspelled. I am using microsoft word now instead of works. Yes, it makes a huge difference. But I used that last. I read the hard copy first, and with my pen, I marked areas I wanted to look at or fix. And then a funny thing struck me. Really, I was horrified. I realized, the painting in chapter one of the dragon Kwon, was described wrong. I described him as a fire dragon. If you have read the book and have even remotely any memory for short details, you may have caught it. The fire dragons are from the region Gracon, whereas the water dragons are from Fuaun, which is where the story begins with Deagon. Thank goodness for technology. I was able to fix the discrepancy, but I am sorry for those who bought my book before, having read the wrong info.

Also, one day at Wednesday night church, my pastor mentioned his professor, back when he was in college, did not allow the word 'that' to be used in any papers to be turned  in to him. This made me think. I googled overused words in fiction writing and found there were several. I wrote them down and went to my files and did a search. That, now, just, are to name a few. Seeing how these three were the worst, I focused my attention on them. I was able to rid most of them, even if I had to do a little rewrite. The rewrites even made the book better, I think. Other times, I didn't believe I could remove the words because I couldn't think of another way to write it.

So everything is good for the moment, and have been reloaded. I believe it is a better book for it. Someday I will be able to afford a real editor or may even have the luck of having an agent who can get me one. For now, or moment, I must rely on myself and friends, and word.

I hope Vengeance will not need future edits, unless an editor has it in their hands and is the one offering his thoughts. Thank you to my family who put up with my hours and hours of time I spent on the edits and not them. I did not abandon you.

Thank You

Thank you to all of you who have read Chasing Dragons: Vengeance. To those of you who have let me know how much you like it, I am very much appreciative that you took the time to let me know. You are a continual source of inspiration to keep me working on the next. Again, thank you soooo much.

Change

I like change in some things. Room arrangements. Colors for clothes or paint. The arrangement in my garden each year. Change is good for some things. So you may or may not have noticed that I have changed my blog design a couple of times in the past month. While I liked the other green design, I really like this one. If you have read my questions page, you will remember that green is my favorite color. But I also like blues. Like the one for this page. It reminds me a little of the blue of some of the ocean getaway pictures. Take Sandles or the Bahamas for instance. Cool and relaxing. So while you read, I hope it is a welcoming color for you. May you feel warm, relaxed, and cool all in one sitting. Thank you for reading.

Homemade Pancakes and Syrup

Okay, so this has nothing to do with my book. But ever since I've been on Pinterest, I am addicted and now I am wanting to share some of the things I do or may know, which may not be much. Ha. The first thing I am going to share is my pancakes and syrup. I even uploaded a picture. Aren't I so good? :)

     My youngest daughter, Emily, has some food allergies and we were trying to stay away from high fructose corn syrup. Even after realizing the corn syrup was not one of her triggers, this syrup is Emily's favorite.

     Both recipes come from two ladies of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church of Mansfield, MO where my father-in-law is the preacher. Thank you Kathy Barnett and Marge Short.


     The syrup may be made while the pancakes are cooking.

 PANCAKES

1 egg
1 cup milk (I use whole)
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

I usually make two batches for my family of 6. Also, sometimes I add a little more flour for thicker pancakes.  You know how it goes, it all depends on our mood.


HOMEMADE PANCAKE SYRUP

1 1/2  cups brown sugar
3/4 cup water
1 tablespoon butter
dash of salt
1/2 teaspoon maple flavoring (make sure to add after boiling above ingedients)

Mix all ingredients in small sauce pan. Heat over medium heat until boiling, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat. Stir in maple flavoring. Serve warm.

note: I don't always use butter and I don't think I even add the salt. I then pour the syrup in a pretty mason jar and use a spoon to poor over the pancakes. Refrigerate unused syrup. Warm up when used next. Very yummy. I haven't used store bought since.

An update for the week

My daughter, Emily, is in a cleaning/rearranging mood. She has been busy in her room and proudly lets me know her every step as she slowly gets it the way she wants. Too bad she has to share it with her stinky twelve year old brother, who is not his usual loud mouth today. Logan has been on the couch sleeping. A cold has been trying to take over his body the past two days; today it won. A fever and cough wiped him out and the couch is currently his best friend. Poor little guy.

For me, I think my brain is tired. Too much learning new stuff at my new job in the Post Office. (Not a new job, but a different position at a new station in the same city within the P.O.) I went from a job that I was very capable and knowledgeable of, to a new job that I'm not sure if I can get down. My question to every package brought in to the store: Is that liquid, fragile, perishable, or potentially hazardous? May not sound to bad, but try to say it fast enough and remember to ask every time really is a challenge. Not to mention which rate and box and price and extra items like delivery confirmation or stamps a customer may like and what button to push, yes, my brain is dead after a days work. It may not sound hard. It may even sound easier than my other job, and in some ways it very much is, but it is still a brain procession and I am near brain dead as I write this. I called my friend from my other station and asked if I could come home. She said the door was always open. I'm thankful to have a friend that can laugh with me when I need it. We all need those friends.

Changed my book price again. Yes, I probably am doing that too much. It wasn't selling, so I decided to try the higher price and see if my son, Liam, was right. $4.99. We shall see. I have managed to get it up on B&N again and am working to get it to ibooks and google books.

That is all for an update I have at the moment. I am going to try and work on the book. I hope my brain will function. It is almost 8 p.m., I better eat first I suppose.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

If Amanda Hocking Can Do It

I started a new week of training for my new bid job in the great postal service. One week of book work in forty hours. The first day is so far, not so bad. After fourteen years working five a.m. to eleven a.m., six days a week, this eight to five is a little different. I've been spoiled, being home when my kids walk through the door after school, or running errands and picking them up for after school meetings. But it is only for two weeks. My last week will be on the job window training. When I am done training, my job will be eight a.m. to two p.m., five days a week. Just in time to be home for the kids or to gather them from their after school meetings. All will be good again. I have to say though, I enjoyed "sleeping in" til six a.m. It felt nice.

My days of writing in a quiet house are over. I will have to write after the kids are home, maybe later in the evenings. It will be interesting to see how productive I can be. I have been a little frustrated with sales on my first novel, Chasing Dragons: Vengeance. I have gotten a few good reviews, but still it hasn't sold very well. I try and figure what is selling the other books out on the market, but they keep their secrets.

I have completed re-edits awhile back and believe everything looks good. My cover by Jerry Kissell, I believe, is rather awesome. Friends and complete strangers have told me they love my book, but still, I am left feeling confused at how to get it out there. To tell the truth, as much as my ideas flow and swirl around inside my head, writing is hard, but promoting and getting people to read it is a lot harder. Someday I will be able to help others who are in the same situation. For now, I am constantly looking for new paths to take. I will not give up. I have found I love writing. And, I guess, even if no one does read my stories or like them, I do and I will keep plugging away until every last character is out of my head and on the screen. Two books are swirling in my head at the moment. It is interesting how I am able to keep them separated from each other. Their magic is slowly spreading from my fingers onto the screen.

I lowered my book price from $2.99 to $.99. I am testing the waters to see if this will help. My son, Liam, thinks I should raise the price. He thinks maybe readers think lower prices equate to an inferior book. If this price fails, I will raise the price a little higher and see if he is right.

If you are an author, as well as I, maybe the articles I write of my experience will give you some insight or help in your adventure. There are no instant answers. Why one sells and another doesn't, I haven't a clue.
Maybe it is the genre or the type of characters, or maybe it is the description or lack of. What ever it is, without the expertise of a publicist, I am on my own, picking my way through the crowding ocean.

In the mean time, we must each have faith in our abilities and believe that if Amanda Hocking can do it, so can we. I wonder if she ever believed she could be an inspiration to others? I hope someday I can be.